fine whine

Yesterday, on a tip from Scott, I checked out the first-ever Twitter-based fiction writing contest. Twitter, for the uninitiated, is a combination micro-blogging application and social-networking tool all rolled into one, but the significance is that all updates (dubbed 'tweets') are 140 characters or less. Thus the 140-character (no more, no less) story contest.

I'd written my entry fairly early, but having mulled the idea over some more, I wrote, well, some more*:

I found a time machine that only makes things younger. Spent the afternoon making burgers into veal. And then, well...now I need to grow up.

She was scared. Zombies attacking, and only with a lot of help were the houses made safe. But now mommy said that the neighbors were hungry.

She ran. He ran, pulled a gun, and sprayed bullets at her. She dove into the canal, and he swam after her. Was this a chase, or a triathlon?

Found a lamp in the antique store. Rubbed it, and a genie appeared. I wished I could understand what he was saying. It was "You get 1 wish".

I need to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I'd take lessons or talk to another owner, except the nearest one looks mad I'm stealing his bike.

* Only one entry per person, though. So the rest of these are just for fun. Then again, so's my "official" entry also, since I'm not going to win.

One of these days I need to update my resume again*.

Skills
Lunch. Both with co-workers and vendor representatives.

Paradigm Shifting.

Accomplishments
Shifted a record number of paradigms enabling spectacular Q3 returns. Needed to think back inside the box afterward to cool down.

Ended forward transmission of at least one forwarded email every week, if not more often.

* 'Again' may be too strong a word. I've generally entirely redone it every time, since I never seem to send it for the same sort of jobs more than once or twice.

So we were up later than usual this evening, and things were already getting silly when Jessica found the following thread on the nest.

Before I continue, I think should warn you, the reader, that what follows below could be considered of an adult nature (yet it is totally immature) and I cannot in good conscience recommend that you read it. Feel free to scroll past all of this, and continue reading the more highbrow stuff I've written.

If you're still reading, that thread began with '410bride' writing:

Admittedly I have only played this drunk, but basically you take any movie title and substitute "vagina" for one of the words. Sometimes we end up cracking ourselves up, but like I said, usually alcohol is involved.

and then a list of many a clever title, including Three men and a vagina, My best friend's vagina, and The hunt for Red Vagina.

For a good ten minutes Jessica and I drew upon our reserves of silliness and my large movie collection* and came up with many a funny title. Then she went to bed and I thought the whole thing was over, but my brain kept coming up with more titles. Here follows a list of many of them, in the hopes that they stop bouncing around my head.

• Rosemary's vagina, or better yet, Joe Gould's vagina**
• Dirty rotten vaginas
• The discreet charm of the vagina
• Big deal on Vagina Street
• Vaginas in the mist
• Vagina on the moon
• A vagina in the sun or A place in the vagina
• Vaginabusters
• Wag the vagina
• All the president's vagina
• Two by Michael Douglas: Romancing the vagina and The perfect vagina
• The vaginas down under
• Some like vagina hot
• Vagina on the river Kwai
• Deep blue vagina
• Close encounters of the vagina kind
• Big trouble in little vagina
• Attack of the 50-foot vagina
• The incredible shrinking vagina
• Three by Pacino: Scent of a vagina, And vagina for all and Dog vagina afternoon
• The secret lives of vaginas
• The Spanish vagina or The vagina prisoner
• Vagina of the living dead
• Vaginas from a mall or Scenes from a vagina
• Clash of the vaginas or Vagina of the titans
• A boy and his vagina, or maybe Johnny got his vagina
• A fistful of vaginas
• The cook, the thief, his wife & her vagina
• The vagina that wouldn't die
• Vagina without a face or Fiend without a vagina
• The incredible 2-headed vagina
• The big red vagina
• In the heat of the vagina and its sequel, They call me Mister Vagina
• Joe versus the vagina

Having typed those up I'm certain still others will come to me, so mayble I'll add more in the comments. Feel free to join in, though bear in mind it's rather addictive.

* Which contains Snatch and The Abyss, among others.

** My favorite, I think.

I do, in fact, still exist, and I haven't completely abandoned this site. For some reason I just haven't felt like writing lately, which does not portend well for my Nano novel.

On another note, I bought a nice new digital camera, an early Christmas present of sorts. It's a Canon A610, and I'm happy to find that gphoto is able to grab pictures off of it even though it doesn't directly support that exact model. Now I just need to wait for the knockoff lens adapters to appear on eBay.