fine whine

It's amazing what you can find when you're not looking for it. Hearkening back to a couple days ago's hours of Googlewhacking (which was indeed successful with three recordable entries) and lacking any particular destination, I searched for a catchy sounding random pair that I knew would pull up a number of disparate links, "jigsaw gigolo". And lo, there at the top of the list I beheld The Jigsaw Lounge's review of A.I..

Now I've been looking for a new movie reviewer ever since Jeff Huston pulled the plug on his Believe-Me film ratings and review web site. So I quickly scanned the Lounge (run mostly by a guy named Neil Young) to see how closely my opinions matched theirs. With the exception of their treatment of the Michael Mann canon (I'm not one of his fans but I can understand their appeal, somewhat) and a couple others it seemed like I had finally found a reviewer I can take seriously. The reviews delve deeper into the pieces that interest me and the writing is all around intelligent. The archives are pretty comprehensive and cross-referenced. I'm happy.

Also this evening I had the "pleasure" of experiencing Sweet Home Alabama, starring Reese Whitherspoon and a whole raft of cliched stereotypes about New Yorkers and the South. Unfortunately Neil Young and company haven't found fit to tackle this one, so I'm afraid I'll have to give it a review. This movie elevates inoffensiveness to an art form. The whole production just oozes pleasant and safe, with hardly a discomfortable moment for anyone involved, except maybe the audience. I didn't care for it and felt bad for Fred Ward for being in such a production, though his scenes are generally pretty good, especially garbed in Civil War regalia.

I wouldn't say that I disliked the movie for being bad, but for being not good. To use a cliche myself, it didn't do anything for me. I like a movie that makes me think, not one that requires I don't. The whole plot was basically telegraphed from the opening couple minutes and DVD cover, and it turned out even less plotted than I had expected — I was expecting some sort of dark past revelation or other plot twist looming just as storm clouds hang overhead, but no such luck: the rain was merely a diversion played for a laugh and no further depth. Oops, I suppose that might've been a spoiler, so forget that last sentence if you care.

As if movies like that could be spoiled. They're bland, interchangeable, and yet they make millions. Why? Could it be that very inoffensiveness? It can't just be star power (and have you noticed how strange Reese's chin is starting to look? Or is it just my imagination) driving these fluff vehicles. There must be some deeper meaning, right? Or is sheer banality the aim, inoffensiveness the target? Their extreme defanging removes the bite entirely, as it were. It is that very unwillingness to offend that insults me, a stultifying and pedantic nose-thumbing to someone with more than the brains of a turnip. What next for the movieplex, two hours of cute puppies, kittens and smiling, gurgling babies to coo over and giggle? Then I'll really have to stick to reading, I guess.

Not to say that today was Tim Robbins day, but I began it watching Human nature and I'm finishing it watching The Shawshank redemption. Which is fine and dandy, except that it's on TBS, which means commercials. They kill the pacing of the movie and really just annoy. Worse though, are the ones for throwaway movies that don't hold a candle to real films.

Let's take the example of 2 fast 2 furious. Here we have a sequel to a movie inspired from a magazine article. A magazine article. Also in the last couple years we've had flicks based on old TV shows, video games, and even a web comic.

I can't really criticize the trend, though... it's nothing new. I've got my very own copy of Convoy... I had to get it from Denmark but then again, how much call is there here in America for a full-length movie, from 1978, based solely on a country song.

The real question we should be asking, though, is why don't I own a copy of Shawshank if I've got Convoy? It's not like I can't find it cheap. It's even one of my favorite films were I to make a list. I think I just like the wonderment of 'discovering' it on TV. I've never seen it all the way through without commercials, and I'm pretty sure I've never watched it before dusk. But once I see it on, I'm done for. I can't say the same for anything Vin Diesel's made so far.

Someday I think I want a sign atop my bed that says "Mike Lietz slept here". I think that would be cool, in some over-the-top wacky, zany way. I'm of course inspired by a scene in The Emperor's New Clothes, a little film starring Ian Holm, Iben Hjejle (seen earlier in High Fidelity and equally good here), and Ian Holm. To give away no more than the DVD case, Ian plays Napoleon and a suitable duplicate, joined in a daring escape from his island exile. Once off the island, the little emperor journeys back to Paris by way of Waterloo, stopping to take a nap in a tourist trap house honoring him, despite his never being there. He awakens to see a sign above the headboard proclaiming "Emperor Napoleon Slept Here" and realizes that it is now true. A mere throwaway moment in an otherwise more serious film, it inspired me to have a sign of my own. I'm not going to buy the DVD of the movie, though, since it lacks any sort of extras at all, and I'd really like to have heard some filmmakers' commentary on this one. It was a good movie, full of whimsy and wonder and other things that start with 'w'. Well worth watching.

I caught the beginning episode of The AniMatrix, and I have to admit it was quite cool. I'm the first to admit that I was let down by The Matrix the first time I saw it. For that matter, subsequent viewings didn't make me like it too much more. I'm not sure it was the over-the-top wire-fu or bad writing interludes, but something really overshadowed the great visuals and incredible premise for me. Keanu Reeves was more than passable for the role and Lawrence Fishburne was fantastic, but some of the lines they had to deliver (and their co-stars) went beyond cheesy, past camp, and well into the other side.

But the ani-Matrix shows much promise. The deeper ideas are more in evidence, and the visual style is even cooler than the original movie's. Though it resembles in no small way the film Metropolis, itself no paragon of originality. Not to say it's a bad movie, in fact it's quite good. Don't say that to an anime fan, though, as they seem to find it lacking somehow and will look at you the same way opera fans view "Jackass" watchers. Derision doesn't start to describe it.

So I'm working on my website at the same time, and it too is showing some promise. The whole XHTML/CSS layout process is mildly arduous to adapt from my old, convoluted style of HTML, but ultimately I think it'll be worth it.