fine whine

Ah, good old IRC. I idle part of my workday in the #last.fm.chat room. Last.FM's been having some troubles, software- and hardware-wise lately, and the regular flash-based chatroom client hasn't worked in a week or two. Those of us who have braved the arcane ways of mIRC have found our way back into the chat room and continued pretty much as normal, chatting-wise and cracking wise, as it were.

The only problem? There's only about three of us. For that matter there are about six regular chatters when it works, but now it's down to pretty much me and my pal Heep now.

We're rapidly running out of things about which to chat these days, so, well, ...

<Heep> my toes are killing me right now
* eating_codger is now known as Heeps_toes
* Heep loves sandals but doesn't feel right wearing them to work for some reason
* Heeps_toes kills Heep
<Heep> lol
* Heeps_toes is now known as codger
<codger> sorry, it was too easy
<Heep> indeed
.
.
.
* Heep is now known as _
<_> oops
<_> LOL this nick rules
* codger is now known as nick
* nick is now known as Heep
<Heep> VICTORY
<Heep> IS
<Heep> MINE!
<_> bah!
* Heep is now known as victor
* _ is now known as Emperor_Mike
* victor gets the spoils
* Emperor_Mike is now known as how
* how much wood could a woodchuck chuck
<victor> indeed
* how is now known as it
* it is amazing how many crazy ideas we come up with
* victor is now known as how
<how> how many roads must a man walk down?
<how> argh
<it> mwahaha
* how embarrassing
<it> LOL
<how> :)
* it is now known as indeed
* indeed it is
* how funny was that?
* indeed is now known as very
* very funny
* how original
<very> hmm I wonder, if you picked a good enough word, if you could say everything with /me statements like that
* very is now known as the
* how is now known as and
* the program allows for many possibilities
* and yet it still seems to be lacking something
* the objective I have it to stump you so there is no possible way you can reply with your current nick
* and yet you fail
* the game is only just beginning
* and what an auspicious beginning that is
* the will always be more useful than "and"
* and that wasn't even a sentence
* the previous statement was indeed a sentence!
* and did you know that entire languages exist without a corresponding "the", yet almost all have an "and"?!
* the word "the" is more useful for starting sentences though
* and in fact the starting of sentences with "and" is largely frowned upon
* the same applies to the word "but"
* and "because" too
* the rules of English therefore favour me
* and yet common usage is rife with "and ..." sentences
* the blabberings you are sputtering are just jealousy of my superiority
* and and yet you have yet to have the last word
* the previous statement by you could be considered a "foul" because of poor grammar
* and I would agree
* the game is therefore playing out in my favour
* and yet it continues
* the real bummer is that we don't have an active audience
* but has joined #last.fm.chat
* but does that matter?
* and yet you *do* have a point
* that has joined #last.fm.chat
* that could be considered cheating
* and so could "that"
* but who's keeping track?
* the cheating on my part is acceptable, however, since you did it first
* and your point is...?
* that is actually quite a useless word in this game
* the ability to use quotations around my name would have been useful in that statement to make it grammatically correct
* and we all know how important correct grammar is to the current discussion
* that is true
* and now you agree with me
* the score is then even
* but who's keeping track?
* that guy over there
* and yet we have no sense of points or accomplishment
* that is because we have no reward
* and yet we continue, undaunted
* the only reward is to know which article is most useful
* and the only article in question is "the", since "a" and "an" are conspicuously absent
* that is true
* and you know it
* the word I used should have simply been "word"
* but what is truth?
* and how would "word" be better?
* the absence of lies
* the word "word" would be better since it would be more general than "article"
* and that's the best you can do? "the absense of lies"?
* that makes sense though
* and now it's clear to me what you meant
* the joke was slowly interpreted
* and yet I was referring to your "word" versus "article" statement
* that was an incorrect reference
* and the ball's still in your court
* the problem is knowing what to do with the ball
* and it's your problem, too
* that was a cheesy response
* and yet it worked
* the game could theoretically go on forever
* and yet you and I both know it won't
* that is because I eventually must leave
* but then I'd "win", wouldn't I?
* the end could be postponed
* and you wouldn't want that, would you?
* but what about the other chatters, if ever there are any?
* that is not of our concern
* and why not? We, after all, account for more than half of this room at the moment
* but that will change, as I have a meeting at 3pm
* that is exactly my point. We dwarf them.
* but what a hollow victory, no?
* the file I'm currently inputting has taken me an hour so far, when they normally take 3 minutes
* that is because I've been chatting
* and yet my productivity is unchanged
* but it hasn't been that great anyway
* the game should be wrapped up soon
* and and then we'll go our separate ways and deny that this ever happened. Russ, though, will remember
* but there I did it again
* that is another foul for you
* and I hang my head in shame, again
* the shame is on me as well, as you have not seen how many times I typed "/the" and was saved by a syntax error...
* and didn't even know that would cause a syntax error
* but I forgot the "I" in the last sentence there
* the game is starting to get the best of us
* that is not good
* and I'm getting really sloppy
* but what does it matter, in the end?
* the chair I'm sitting on just startled me because I accidentally pulled the height lever and dropped to the floor
* the end is announced
* the is now known as Heep
* and I feel fine
<Heep> LOL
* and is now known as codger
* but has quit IRC (Quit: )
<codger> 'twas funny
* that has quit IRC (Quit: )

Okay, so it isn't that funny, but at the time it was hilarious.