fine whine

Somewhere along the way with me and this odd haiku fixation I’ve dredged back up lately I searched for and found this not-so-classic entry, and it made me laugh. In the interest of getting some sort of response to it and for lack of anything else to say about today, here it is in its entirety. I even left the vaguely snide comment about Jessica’s master’s thesis in. For posterity, y’know.

I am of course a married man (and will tack ‘happily’ back onto that as soon as Jessica finishes her thesis) so when inspiration struck with a short list of utterly original pick-up lines, I had little recourse but to put them here for everybody’s benefit. I’d come up with a nifty name for them like “off the wall flower” but I’m not creative like that.

• Mmmm… do I smell… maple?
• Were you aware that it is perfectly legal to steal home plate?
• You sure look like someone with only positive eBay feedback.
• Do you have a more than passing interest in the recent peace accords, like I do?
• I bet you know at least one Sagittarius, don’t you?
• Ever notice that a lot of orange things are round?
• I like your pants. What do you think of mine?
• I’d like to write a haiku about you. Can you count?
• D’ja know what to do with leftover Altoids tins?

Guaranteed babes on every arm. And when I say “guaranteed”, I mean, “you’re really on your own here”.
I’d like to point one thing out: if there is any innuendo in the above lines, I didn’t put it there.