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thots: thoughts without the ugh!

In retrospect, this was something of a proto-twitter, at least the way I use it. These were half-formed ideas at best, not worthy of creating an entire HTML document to convey.

Ever notice that the people who say "okay" frequently rarely are?

Smokers live lives twice as short - once from all the cigarettes and twice from all the time spent smoking them. I wonder if there are any other habits I could pick up which necessitate an hour or so out of the workday ...

What is a thot? A 'thot' is somewhat like a thought, but it doesn't have to be. It can be a complete thought, or a couple words strung together. Thots and thoughts are similar and different just as hotdogs and sausages can be similar or different. Thots just occur to me, whereas a thought takes a little bit more ... something.

So why do I have this page? This page is my napkin, my New Text Document, the placemat that I jotted something down on. It's an online sketchpad for words and phrases. And it's a really easy way to add short, simple stuff to my site -- from anywhere.

Boredom isn't nearly as bad when you're not paying attention to it.

It's hard to be motivated to do perfect work when you know that someday you'll nevertheless own the world.

Organization only helps if you've got a good memory or lots of time.

If only there were a way to switch the ten minutes in the morning to finish getting ready that fly by, and the never-ending last ten minutes at work getting ready to finish ...

You know, some morning I'd like to wake up early enough to find out if repeating after lathering and rinsing really makes a difference.

Trouble-shooting would probably be a lot more fun if it involved actual bullets -- you know, like skeet-shooting.

What else does thot rhyme with? pot, sot, glot, fraught, sought, taught, hmmm ...

How come it's so easy to get Christmas songs stuck in my head in the middle of July?

Few things are quite like having the song "Die, Die, My Darling" stuck in your head while you wait for a tape drive to read a file. Trust me.

Coming soon to a courtroom near you: "Y2K made me do it, your Honor!"

"Do not attempt to duplicate any stunts that are beyond your own capabilities" -- text taken from the WARNING in front of BMX Plus! magazine. --What is a stunt if it is not beyond your normal capabilities? How do you know if it's beyond your capabilities? Do you just sit around saying, "Oh, I *know* I can't do *that* so I'd better not try." Where's the fun in that?

I had a funky dream this morning, involving bike theft, suicide attempts, graduation ceremonies, Taste of something or other, invitations to parties by Big Angie, and other craziness. So I hit snooze one less time than usual.

Today's song: "Friday, I'm in love" ... too bad today is Thursday, and I'm really annoyed with tech support. Now if they played the Cure on hold, it might be different.

I was just in the middle of very important work ... but my desktop wallpaper needed to be changed. So it goes.

Arguing with the woman you love really really stinks.

The worst arguments are the ones where nobody's really disagreeing.

Well, now my site has been designated a Cool Site in the Netscape Open Directory. Which means I get a little star next to my site's name in the directory. Which is really kinda cool.

Wearable computers - scary thought. Portable cell phones are bad enough, what would people do with a computer?

Any food can be made better with processed cheese or barbecue sauce.

Why is programming so much easier when you're doing it for fun? And why isn't accounting? Or toilet-bowl cleaning?

Just saw 'The Blair Witch Project'. Yes, it is scary, but only if you were scared of the dark when you were a little kid. I was.

It isn't always easy to be spontaneous ... some days I have to practice for *hours*.

I am Northwestern University's worst piano player. So I took up yo-yo. I figure it's a safe bet that though I am not the greatest, there are worse yo-yo players here.

Evanston philosophy #17: Two streetlights per block is *more* than enough.

Well, today I got an ICQ from a person named "BigHooters36B". She didn't message me anything other than "hey, what's up?", "sure u do baby don't u remember me?" and a URL for one of those "forward this midi song and sappy poem to all of your friends, including me" pages. I'm trying to figure out just who this is ...

Would the workplace be funnier if there was a laugh track? Or at least more interesting?

The There Oughta Be a Record dept: Got home from work today in 48 minutes, beating the previous day by seven minutes. That's a pretty darn good time for the evening commute -- heck, that's not too bad a time for the morning!

I'll admit it, I'm a pathological dally-er. It takes me forever to leave anywhere; it's like pulling teeth for me to go away even when I know that I'm supposed to have already left. I guess that's why I'm wanted in three states for loitering ...

I used to wish I were funny, that the things that I said were humorous. Now I just wish that what I say be understandable.

Sometimes I wish that the voices in my head would stop. At least I'd like them to sing other songs.

Today's other little triumph: I found an mp3 file of a song, "Mother Earth", by Dubtribe. This song is almost impossible to get on CD here ... believe me, I've tried. This is one way mp3s are good -- I just wish the record company didn't stop making copies of that particular album (I checked. They're all sold out).

Ever notice that you can't buy a tv anymore without it having those blue screens? I remember the good ol' days before Sony and Panasonic decided that static was not nice to look at. Is this censorship?

One good thing about 'gifted and talented' students -- they disregard 'out of order' signs and gleefully stuff quarters and nickels into the void of a vending machine slot, only to be retrieved later by me. I shouldn't be profiting off of smart/stupid kids like this, but, what the hey, it's free money.

One good thing about humidity is that it makes the cheese in the bottom of a bag of cheeze puffs clump up. Mmmm ...

About the only thing worse than calling tech support is watching someone else do it.

I don't know why, but the word "commute" just doesn't look right to me right now.

I had a wonderful dream this morning ... I dreamt someone told me that he could sleep in for me, when I wokeup at 6am... I thought, what a pleasant thing, as I took a nice nap for half an hour.

A *lot* of people seem to end up here looking for FUNNY POEMS. I fear I may disappoint them, although the people who look for funny poems never read my poetry ...

Today's culinary tip: Instead of using the herb packet in Velveeta Creamy Herb & Garlic Radiatore & Cheese, use a chopped up steak. The herb & garlic part isn't very good.

Herb & Garlic plus Velveeta? The words *quite disgusting* come very readily to mind.

So far this summer, I've only used a microwave twice ... that's how hot it's been here in Chicago.

Light grey, on white, I have concluded, makes for rather unreadable text.

You know, for as much as college is supposed to prepare you for life, all it does is lower your expectations. You expect less sleep, poor living conditions in the dorms, low grades for your best work, bad food, and this is all supposed to make us ready for later on? Hmmm ...

You know, the "dot org" after my web address is sort of misleading. It almost implies that I am somehow organized or something like that. Those who know me know better.

Sometimes doing too much is doing, well, too much.

Today I threw away a Giorgio Armani suit that I hadn't even worn once. Hah. Well, it was one I had picked up out of the trash, but thats probably the only Armani I'll have for a long time.

Someday, I'd like to figure out why the 'm' key on my keyboard always breaks first.

Phooey! Popcorn's pungent perfume permeates places I perambulate. Pee-yew!

The sky is so clear tonight that you can see all of the stars *and* the lines connecting them.

The problem with any sort of greatness is that people always expect some sort of consistency.

Thots: They're Thoughts without the Ugh! (A big thanks to Pseudo_Intellectual on Everything.)

Ervin Goffman, the sociologist, came up with the idea of social interaction as a stage, with "front stage" and "back stage" performances, stating that the two could be very different. For example, a college professor could have trouble answering simple questions asked after class, or doctors out of the ER can have problems removing a splinter. I don't like this idea -- I want my front and back stage performances to be the same, or rather not performances at all. What do I need to perform for? Can't I just be me?

Whatever happened to the little bowls (hats?) on the bottom of two liter bottles, anyways? Can't say I've seen one of those in a long time.

Well, another high pressure night, another web comic with months of back archives. This is starting to get real old.

You know, I just found out today that I used to read stories to my fellow classmates in kindergarten. That is, the teacher let me take over for storytime. Why don't I remember these sorts of things? All I remember is doing badly in naptime and fingerpainting a lot of pictures of cars. And the letter people.

So there's a new Robin Williams film out ... Like all the others he's made lately, it'll probably be pretty syrupy-sweet and heartwarming. I bet the reason we've never seen a Robin Williams film festival is that everyone would leave halfway through with heartburn from so much heart-warming. I just wish he'd do less sentimental films.

Okay ... I've been working in the office way too much now -- I used a post-it note in place of a band-aid. Sheesh.

Well, now I've done it. Today I tried to purchase (and ultimately acquired) a nine-dollar pound of cheese. You may scoff at me, but let me tell you: Nine dollars for a pound of fine, aged Irish cheddar is a pretty significant step for a guy who until now, had never paid more than two dollars for a brick of the dairy delight. Oh, and I say 'tried' because when I was going to pay for it, the waiter told me he had forgotten to add it to the bill and he didn't want to have to refigure the check. So now I have a nine-dollar (well, $8.95) pound of cheese. Mmmm.

"...and chopsticks always at no added charge!" -- I heard this claim at the end of a commercial for a Chinese restaurant. Am I to believe that some Chinese places charge extra for chopsticks? That seems even more sinister than selling a car without A/C -- it's the sort of thing you should never have to pay extra for.

Peace on Earth, eh? But what is peace, anyway? "The absence of war"? Bah. Peace is not a state that can be destroyed with a fistfight. Peace is the total absence of the possibility for war. And that's what I want for Christmas, folks.

So today we're under an "excessive heat watch" today. How are we supposed to watch heat? Tornados I can watch. Hurricanes I can watch. But heat is pretty much invisible. We're better off listening to the lightning.

Today I was tailgating a Grand Prix with Wisconsin plates that said "BIG NADS". I'm not quite sure what to make of that.

You know, if you had a traffic system barring left turns, you'd want to use stoplights rather than stopsigns; otherwise the benefits of the never left rule would be canceled. Just something that occurred to me.

Ever encountered something that provoked a reaction coupletely different than what it should? I found myself in one yesterday as a dork in a burgundy Suburban pulled up close behind me, flashed his high beams a bunch of times, and tried to force me off the road using a costume-shop police badge. I think he thought he was scaring me or something, but instead of being intimidating he was just pathetic and sad. Poor guy.

The worst part about hearing somebody snoring is the realization of the fact that someone else is able to sleep when you can't.

It's difficult to say what this means for the group work ethic, but have you ever noticed that "team" is just "meat" spelled differently?

There seems to be a pervasive attitude that believers shouldn't question or explore their own religions. As though a core tenet stated, "A supreme being gave you a brain. Don't use it, though." Why not?

Regarding public restrooms: I don't think I need to be embarrassed farting in the presence of a guy who doesn't wash his hands when he's finished.

The rallying cry if the Anglican Church join up with Lutherans: Separatists unite!

It is my desire / to finish a haiku with: / "...or so says the Pope."

When I make my movie: there will be no slow motion. In fact, I'd like to just about remove all slo-mo from the movies I watch. If only there were a feature on my DVD player that let me speed up the—oh yeah, fast forward. Silly me.

I think we need placebo schools -- that way we can really guage how well we're doing. The placebo students would be the same as the real students except that they'd be learning complete nonsense. I'd like to be a teacher at one of those schools.

You know what I'd like to see sometime? A "moving sale" sign that has had the address crossed out a couple times.

I'm generally wary of things that need to point out that they are, in fact, food.

I like RSS. Feeds allow me to store up news and notes for indefinite periods of time, allowing me to wait until imminent product arrival notices become reminders of things I've already missed.

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